Now I will be fair and admit I am a fairly big Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and Crispin Glover fan. I never was big on Alice in Wonderland, but I was still fairly excited over the release of this movie. So now that I’ve laid eyes on Burton’s vision of Wonderland, I’m left with a feeling of indifference. If there’s any movie I walked away from not really caring about one way or another, it’s this one. In all honestly the movie actually bored me a bit.

According to Burton this film isn’t a remake or a sequel. Personally, I would look at it as a sequel, but hey, it’s his movie. The film follows (who else?) 19-year-old Alice as she finds herself back in Underland 13 years after her last visit. The catch is, she does not remember ever visiting, so many of the inhabitants refuse to believe that she is “the” Alice. The citizens of Underland are a bit anxious over this due to the fact that Alice is the only one (according to legend) who can slay the Jabberwocky.

So yeah, that’s pretty much the plot of the movie. As with any Tim Burton film, the cinematography is a treat to view. There’s really no question who the director is once you see Underland. Again, I’m a big Tim Burton fan, so I really enjoyed his vision and thought it added a bit of a spark to an otherwise dull film.

So I’ve mention this twice already, but yeah, this movie bored me. Really, it did. I don’t know if I went into this with the wrong mindset (meaning I wasn’t stoned out of my ass) or what, but I just had the feeling of “Jesus Christ, will this movie ever end?” about halfway through. Not only that, I felt the third act was fairly ridiculous. “Goofy” would be a great way to sum it up. Get it? Goofy? Disney? Yeah, I’ll move along now…

The acting wasn’t a problem. If you look over the cast, this should be no surprise. Johnny Depp, Crispin Glover, Helen Bonham Carter, and Anne Hathaway are just some of the names acting in the movie. I also can’t leave out Mia Wasikowska, who did a great job as Alice.

Good acting aside, it all comes back to the film just not holding my attention. I didn’t hate the movie, but I am certainly in no rush to run out and see it again/own it on DVD. Also, I am not sure how the 3-D is, I saw the 2-D version. So my apologies if you were looking for an opinion on that aspect of the film.

Final words? If you’re big on Alice in Wonderland, you’re probably going to love it regardless. If you’re like me and Alice in Wonderland just never did anything for you, you’ll possibly find yourself lulled into a state of indifference at the midpoint of the film. I recommend saving this one for a rental.

Final Grade: C

In the event you didn’t already know, The Crazies is a remake of a 1973 George Romero film of the same name. It revolves around the tale of a town ravaged by disease that drives the host absolutely bat shit crazy, thus, giving them the “crazies”. And wouldn’t you know it, the military is responsible for this dastardly dilemma! Therefore, it is their job to contain it. This, of course, makes things even worse as chaos ensues.

Besides the basic plot of the film, these two movies don’t have that much in common. The original film revolved around 2 stories. In one situation you watch as the civilians fight to stay alive in the disease ravaged town and in another situation you follow the military leaders as they try to contain the epidemic. Well, apparently the powers that be felt that we couldn’t handle subplots in 2010 because the remake only revolves around the citizens of the town of Ogden Marsh, Iowa.

If there’s one thing this movie doesn’t want to do it’s wasting time. Pretty much from the get go the action gets going. While in way this is a good thing, in my opinion, it seemed to sacrifice some story in the process of doing this. For the majority of the characters your not really given any back story on them, thus, you find yourself feeling rather apathetic toward them. Really the only character in the movie you’re really shown in depth is the town Sheriff, David Dutton. His pregnant wife (and town doctor) Dr. Judy Dutton is somewhat examined, but nothing in detail. I realize you don’t go into a horror movie wanting them to be 3 hour long examinations of each and every character, but at least give us something/someone to care about.

Another fault of the film is it overdoes the ol’ boo scare. It seems like the movie relied too much on them, and let’s be honest, most of them were pretty cheap. There’s only one fairly tense scene, other than that, it’s cheap boo scare after boo scare.  Also, I don’t think this movie could have been more routine. It goes from point A to point B in the most basic of ways and never really deviates from the standard ho-hum horror path.

The acting is fair, but nothing memorable. It’s pretty standard for the type of film it is. It’s not “straight-to-DVD” bad, but it’s not exactly Oscar worthy either. If I had to pick a standout performance in the film, I guess I would pick Timothy Olyphant in his portrayal of Sheriff Timothy Dutton.

When it comes down to it The Crazies is a mostly forgettable film that left me feeling indifferent toward it. I didn’t loathe it as much as most remakes, but on the other hand, I didn’t exactly like it either. It’s a by the books horror film that’s as routine as you can possibly get. If you don’t go into this expecting something that will stick with you for years to come, you’ll be fine. I would recommend saving this one for a rental.
Final Grade: C

PunisherMAX: Kingpin

PunisherMAX #1-5: Kingpin

Writer: Jason Aaron

Art: Steve Dillon

Colors: Matt Hollingsworth

Covers: Dave Johnson

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

I’ll just be honest with you: I preferred the old Punisher MAX series.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still digging the current incarnation, PunisherMAX. I mean, it’s The Punisher. And not the Frankensteined trainwreck Punisher that currently exists. No, it’s good old Frank Castle with a white skull on his shirt and a cache of guns, dishing out justice the only way that he really knows how to: with extreme prejudice.

But it’s the new skew of the series that I’m not terribly fond of. The previous incarnation featured a realistically aged Frank Castle who was nearing his 50s, but was still the tough as nails, take no shit vet we’ve come to know and love. The series maintained a gritty realism, balanced with the acknowledgment of Frank’s long standing role in the Marvel Universe, featuring appearances by Nick Fury and nods to his previous series. The new series feels more like “Ultimte Punisher”,  ditching the previous titles realistic aging and acknowledgment of Marvel lore for a gore filled romp that’s serving to be characteristically no different from the current Marvel on-going, aside from the explicit amounts of gore and profanity (and probably copious amounts of nudity in the future).

But, then there’s Kingpin.  It’s meant to serve as a flashback origin story, in what I presume is an out-of-continuity series. Here, Wilson Fisk assumes the role of Kingpin initially as a ruse, but quickly turns it into a legitimate identity in a bid to steal control of New York underworld from Don Rigoletto. Of course, he crosses paths with The Punisher (it is his book, after all).

Steve Dillon, who did art chores on the Garth Ennis penned Welcome Back, Frank (a story arguably responsible for restoring The Punisher to his former glory after several years of less than stellar stories) returns, and brings his trademark style and flair to the book. It’s a gorgeous book, with lots of energy and buckets of gore. Jason Aaron writes the story, and he still does a really good job of it. Despite my qualms with the story, I still find I enjoyed it, although the last issue was really, REALLY dark.  He nails the characters in the MAX universe, creating a vicious and far more adult world than anything Marvel’s had in a while.

Ultimately, PunisherMAX is a book with a lot of potential that’s going to spend a lot of time stuck in the shadow of that which came before it.  The idea of a rebooted, adults only Punisher title is a great one, and one that makes a lot more sense than trying to shove him into a corner of the Marvel Universe where his deadly touch isn’t such a problem in all ages titles, but cutting the character off from decades of history with the core universe is something that, in the long run, could hurt this title a lot.

As we jump in to this week’s Pull List, there’s a whole new wave of events starting (X-Men: Second Coming begins in the last pages of this week’s Cable, while Batman And Robin sets the stage for this summers The Return Of Bruce Wayne), long before the old ones have even ended.  Regardless, it’s a decent week for comics, with some strong release  (and some not so strong ones).  Here’s your pull list for the week; remember, just because it isn’t on the list doesn’t mean it isn’t good.

Batman And Robin #10

Batman And Robin #10 – Batman and Robin remains an entertaining read, despite the current treatment of Dick Grayson as a fairly inept Batman. Morrison has taken the character to new heights, despite his rocky beginnings with Batman RIP, and with the impending resurrection of Bruce Wayne and the revelation that his corpse isn’t really him, one has to wonder what’s in store for the series as it continues on.

Official Solicitation: “Art sensation Andy Clarke (R.E.B.E.L.S., BATMAN CONFIDENTIAL) joins writer Grant Morrison for an exciting three-issue arc titled “Batman vs. Robin”! Why would Talia al Ghul manipulate her son Damian into taking action against Batman? Will Damian do as Mother says…or stay loyal to Dick Grayson? Plus, more on the Domino Killer, Oberon Sexton, and the menace of El Penitente’s drug cartel! Is this already the end for the new Dynamic Duo?”

Cable #24

Cable #24 – I still maintain my unabashed love of all (well, most) things X-Men in the post Messiah CompleX X-Universe. Now the final chapter of the Messiah Trilogy begins here, as the Homecoming arc draws to a close. Cable and Hope are fighting their way back to the present, but at what cost? Roster changes, new leaderships, and major deaths are promised as Second Coming begins.

Official Solicitation: ““HOMECOMING,” CONCLUSION This is it. The conclusion of the time-hopping action thriller launched in the pages of “Messiah CompleX.” After hopping around New York City in the past and near future, Cable and Hope are closer than ever to the present…which means that Bishop is more desperate than ever to stop them. No more hiding. No more plots. No more weapons. It’s coming down to mutant vs. mutant in the subterranean tunnels of New York, and only one of them will make it back to Westchester alive. You will not want to miss this issue, which leads directly into the X-MEN: SECOND COMING crossover.”

PunisherMAX #5

PunisherMAX #5 – I’m of the opinion that Frankencastle is pretty wretched. Maybe it’s just me (I’m sure it’s not), but I’m not digging the whole Punisher as a Frankenstein monster angle; Marvel does remember what happened when they tried to make Punisher a demon killing angel, right? Those of us who remember the good ol’ days of The Punisher can pick up the Jason Aaron written and Steve Dillon drawn conclusion to PunisherMAX’s first arc.

Official Solicitation: “KINGPIN,” PART 5 Witness the birth of the Kingpin. And witness Frank Castle at his most desperate and brutal. The first arc of PUNISHERMAX concludes with death and murder and more death.”


Also Shipping This Week

Action Comics #887

Amazing Spider-Man #624

Batgirl #8

Batman: Widening Gyre #5

Breaking Into Comics The Marvel Way! #1

Dark X-Men #5

Doom Patrol #6

Fantastic Four #575

Hulk: Let The Battle Begin #1

Human Target #2

Justice League: The Rise And Fall Special

Lockjaw And The Pet Avengers Unleashed #1

Magog #7

Marvel Adventures Super Heroes #21

Powers #3

Prelude To The Deadpool Corps #3

R.E.B.E.L.S. #14

Red Robin #10

S.W.O.R.D. #5

Secret Six #19

Superman: Last Stand of New Krypton #1

The Mystic Hands Of Dr. Strange #1

The Twelve: Spearhead #1

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #8

Web Of Spider-Man #6

Wolverine: Mr. X #1

X-Men Forever #19

X-Men: Pixie Strikes Back #2

Archaia was kind enough to put us in touch with the Fraggle Rock’s writer Heather White and artist Jeff Stokely, and they were awesome enough to answer a few questions on what they’re bringing to the table for Fraggle Rock, why they’re the perfect choice to bring these characters to comics, and why the book is aimed squarely at you.

"Fraggle Rock" writer Heather White

"Fraggle Rock" artist Jeff Stokely

1. Fraggle Rock is a franchise that’s been a pretty big part of a lot of people’s childhoods.  What was it’s significance in yours?

HEATHER WHITE: “Fraggle Rock” was a gigantic part of my childhood. It was this beautiful, over-stimulating, and magical half-hour that I treasured, and still do!

JEFF STOKELY: “Fraggle Rock” was a bit before my time; I watched it when I was very very young. Lots of it I don’t remember…but what I do remember was very vibrant and fun to watch. As soon as I watched the first episode again, a flood of memories came rushing back! Watching it again, I realize how great of a children’s show it really is. That is rare today, in my opinion.

Cover Art to Fraggle Rock #1

2. With this project, you’re tackling a 25 year old franchise with a dedicated fanbase, but one that’s also getting a new lease on life as that fanbase begins to have children.  What are you doing to make sure the book is memorable for the older fans but also remains new and fresh?

HEATHER WHITE: One of the reasons that the original “Fraggle Rock” is still so loved today is because the storytelling was so rich and thoughtful. As a fan, I think that Archaia was a brilliant match for the material because they share that passion and drive to tell good stories that have heart and actually mean something. Everyone, at every level, was dedicated to doing this right, and keeping the spirit Jim Henson intended with the show. The goal was never to change the characters, because the characters are amazing already. What we wanted was to bring them into fresh adventures that both kids and older fans could enjoy because they feel like they could be part of the original series. For my part, (and since I am part of that “dedicated fanbase”) I included a few obscure characters and references from past episodes that I love. An extra treat for the older fans will be seeing their favorite characters stylized in new and gorgeous ways by Jeff and the other artists working on these comics.

JEFF STOKELY: In working with the design and look of the characters I wanted them to feel very much like the old Fraggles and stay faithful to the original show. I also wanted to incorporate a lot of the cartoons and comics I am influenced by today, like Skottie Young and Vaughn Bode. Never changing the character designs was not hard; they were very fun to work with and I think the fans will be incredibly pleased with the outcome. People seem to be liking the cover so far! I guess that means I’m doing my job right!

Art from "FCBD Fraggle Rock"

Art from "Fraggle Rock" #1

3. In that same vein, you’ve got two very diverse markets: older readers who are lifelong Fraggle Rock fans, and younger children who are drawn to the fun, cartoon-like characterizations of the Fraggles.  Which market do you feel you’re skewing towards more?

HEATHER WHITE: Personally, I tried to keep in the vein of the original series and have humor that hits on different levels. Homages and jokes that the younger readers might not catch will hopefully be entertaining to the older readers. We wanted this to be accessible to everyone who loves the Fraggles and worked tremendously hard to make the story into everything the fans, new and old, deserve. My best friend Kate has young children who love the Rock as much as their mom, and I really thought about them and how to entertain the whole family while I was writing. It’s awesome that “Fraggle Rock” is so universal.

JEFF STOKELY: I’m reaching out for the fans, hands down. Many of the licensed comic books out there do not do their original title justice and I want to make sure this pleases the fans just as much as the new generation. There is something about the works of Jim Henson that are just purely entertaining. I really think it’s apparent and stays true to “Fraggle Rock” in this book. When I finished reading Heather’s script, I felt like I just watched an episode. This is something I’m really proud to be a part of.

Cover Art to Fraggle Rock #2

4. Finally, you’ve got a world of hype surrounding the Fraggle Rock release.  Any idea what’s down the line for you, or is there any book that you’ve long wanted to work on?

HEATHER WHITE: To be honest, Fraggle Rock is my dream project so I am really delighted right now! I can’t remember the last time I had more fun writing something. This whole experience with Archaia and Henson has been nothing short of fantastic – I would love to work with them again. I also have a few original ideas that are in development, but I would love to work on other original Henson properties – especially The Muppets, Labyrinthand The Dark Crystal.

JEFF STOKELY: To be honest, the work I plan on doing in the future is much, much different than Fraggle Rock. I hope to get some of my creator-owned work out there but I’m open to suggestions! There are actually quite a few licensed titles that I’ve always wanted to work on. They aren’t being published currently but if all goes well, they will be again and hopefully I can help make them just as rad as they were in my childhood.

Fraggle Rock #1 comes out this April, and #2 hits in May.  For every three issues of the standard cover on each issue, retailers pick up the alternate cover.  Want to whet your appetite before you buy?  The Fraggle Rock/Mouse Guard Free Comic Book Day flip book will be available on May 1st, 2010.

Adventure Comics #8
Amazing Spider-Man #623
Batman Confidential #42
Buffy, The Vampire Slayer: Season 8 #33
Deadpool Team-Up #895
Detective Comics #682
Fall Of The Hulks: The Savage She-Hulks #1
First Wave #1
Girl Comics #1
Invincible Iron Man #24
Jonah Hex #53
JSA All-Stars #4
Justice League: Cry For Justice #7
Mighty Avengers #34
Milestone Forever #2
Nemesis: The Impostors #1
Prelude To Deadpool Corps #1
Punisher Max: Butterfly One-Shot
Realm Of Kings: Son Of Hulk #2
Spider-Man Noir: Eyes Without A Face #4
The Great Ten #5
Ultimate Comics Avengers #5
Ultimate Comics New Ultimates #1
Wolverine: Weapon X #11
X-Men Noir: Mark Of Cain #4
X-Men: Hope #1

I feel like I’ve been here before. You know what, yes I have. So reviewing a remake should be nothing new for me, to say the least.

Jesus Christ, is this onslaught of remakes ever going to stop? Well, probably not. I know, I know, I bitch about these remakes constantly. I am sure it’s getting old to many of you fine readers out there. Let me just say that The Wolfman is boring drivel that was made solely to cash in on an established character. Sound familiar, Friday the 13th/A Nightmare on Elm Street remakes?

Oh, so I suppose I should add more “meat” to this review, huh? Ok, well, if you’ve seen the original 1941 classic you know the story here, it’s as basic as it gets. Lawerance Talbot is attacked by a werewolf and he (surprise) becomes one himself. Chaos ensues. There are some differences in the 2010 version, I won’t give them out because most of them are spoilers. Let me just say that, in my opinion, the changes they made were really stupid. Really, really, really stupid.

The acting isn’t really all that bad. It should come as no surprise that Anthony Hopkins is great as Sir John Talbot. It should also come as no surprise that he’s probably the best actor in the film. In my opinion, Benicio del Toro is wooden as Lawerance Talbot. When you look back to how Lon Chaney Jr. portrayed the character, del Toro doesn’t come close to that level. He just didn’t make me feel sympathetic for him at all. I couldn’t care less about his character in the film.

The editing is horrible in this film. According to Joe Johnston, a good bit was cut from the movie, so maybe this problem is corrected with that footage added in. Though it could create another problem. I know I have been accused of having a short attention span, but a 90 minute movie should hold my attention. This movie felt much, much longer than 90 minutes. So adding in the cut footage could be a double-edged sword, I suppose.

So is there anything good about the movie? Well, to be honest, the only thing I can think of that I really enjoyed was the cinematography. They really captured the gothic feel of the original, so kudos to them for that. And with that, you have all I liked about the movie.

Look, I will be honest with you. I am finding it hard to fill this review because I could sum up my feelings in four words, those being “This movie is garbage”. If you like soulless, meaningless, pointless movies that cash in on classics, then you’ll love The Wolfman. If you like movies that are boring, tedious, and have really stupid endings, then you’ll adore The Wolfman.

Hey, at least Joe Johnston isn’t directing Captain Amer…shit.

Final Grade: 1/10

Cop Out

When I went and saw Cop Out, I had heard only one good review of it. Everyone else was putting it down, and it’s even got a measly 20% freshness rating on Rotten Tomatoes. And really, I don’t get it.  Who are these assholes that are hating Cop Out?

I can certainly see why some people would hate it. Yes, the pacing is all over the place. The real meat and potatoes of the movie doesn’t start until at least 25 minutes in, with everything else serving as a set-up for a fairly mind-blowing series of coincidences after that. But the movie is still damn funny, a lot of fun to watch, and downright hilarious in parts.

I guess a lot of the problem is the Buddy Cop genre of films. What was the last Buddy Cop film we saw? It’s a genre that’s been around the block quite a few times, so there isn’t a whole lot new you can do here. There’s also the issue of the audience it’s attracting. Kevin Smith’s involvement as a director (Mark and Robb Cullen write) seems to have drawn in his fanbase expecting a typical Kevin Smith film. And, yes, it’s pretty obvious that Smith had a hand on some of the dialogue while he was directing, but aside from this (and cameos from Jason Lee and Walt Flanagan), it’s nothing like Smith’s previous work. Then you have Bruce Willis’ involvement, which draws in a lot of Willis fans…it’s not a typical Bruce Willis flick either. So, in general, Cop Out biggest problem is it’s not what it appears to be, but sticks to the established concepts nonetheless, if that even makes sense.

The casting also seems to hurt it a little bit, I hate to say. I love Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, but I can’t help but feel that the script didn’t play to either of their strengths. Willis in particular plays a rather tame character as opposed to the over-the-top heroes he usually plays, resulting in what feels like a muted performance. Add this to the fact that the best jokes are reserved for bit players who show up for no more than a handful of scenes (Sean William Scott especially though I have to admit it’s nice to see him in a role that isn’t a typecast of Stifler), and you’ve got a stable of underused genius.

Despite all this, I maintain that Cop Out remains an enjoyable movie. It’s no Citizen Kane, obviously, and I doubt I rush out to buy the DVD release, but it’s still a solid film with a lot of enjoyable performances (Kevin Pollack, Adam Brody and Rashida Jones especially come to mind). If you’re a fan of movies that are just big, dumb fun, there are truly worse ways to kill 90 minutes.

Cop Out gets a 3 out of 5.

The site crashed.  I couldn’t tell you why.  Then it was back for a few hours, then it was gone again.  See, I’m a horrible, horrible web designer, it turns out.  I did manage to find the old content, but it’s going to take a lot of time to import it.  So, just bear with us, please.

We’re back now, and hopefully this time for good.  Not everything is back together, but…well, as you can tell by the hits, you guys were finding the website anyways.

So, excuse the site as we try to finish tidying things up.  We’ll be back to 100% until you know it.

Writer: Phil Hester

Art: Frazer Iving

Archaia Publishing (Mouse Guard series) and Roddenberry Productions (Star Trek) bring us the story of a man who literally lives on borrowed time, in Days Missing.  And you really need to do yourself a favor and avoid missing the first issue of this mini-series.  Be warned, this review may contain spoilers.

Days Missing is the story of The Steward, a being who has existed since the dawn of time, who walked with dinosaurs and inspired kings.  Throughout history, he has aided humanity with a unique gift: he can shift events in time, putting people where they must be and inspiring them to do what is necessary for the insured survival of humanity, and afterward leaves them with a faint memory and steals away the previous 24 hours.  Humanity forgets it’s day of horror, as The Steward lives on to record the lost time.  As issue #1 opens, a plague is tearing through Africa in 2004…one which The Steward doesn’t believe he can stop in time.

Phil Hester (Green Arrow, Nightwing) crafts a beautifully written tale, a unique take on the classic tale of an immortal through history.  The Steward is written as a truly tragic hero, seeing the world in a time frame different from ours, commenting in the book’s first pages that our “years pass in front of me like hours” and that “when death comes for even an elderly human, I am watching the death of a child”.  It’s a refreshing take, as we witness an immortal with care and love in his heart, as opposed to the atypical characterization of a pompous dick that most of these characters carry with him.  And while there is still much mystery to The Steward, to how he came to be and what he is responsible for, the book tells us just enough to hook us, and makes it clearly known that this man has saved humanity a lot.

Even more refreshing than this book’s premise is the absolutely gorgeous artwork of Frazer Irving (Inhumans: Silent War).  I must admit, I was incredibly surprised.  Irving also did the work on Azrael: Death’s Dark Knight, which I said I wasn’t a huge fan of in this review.  Irving has stepped up his game here.  This book is damn beautiful, with a stark look to it and brilliant use of colors and a gorgeous stylistic approach.  The book is one of the best looking that I’ve seen in ages.

Regrettably, Days Missing is only slated to be a 5 issue mini-series.  If the remaining issues are anything like this one, it’s going to be sad to see it go.  This is a fresh, fun idea, a story of one man desperately racing to save the world from a fate they’re already suffering.  And better still, is the cost: the standard cover of issue #1 is a mere 99 cents.  Days Missing #1 easily scores an A.