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All-Star Batman & Robin, The Boy Wonder #9 Is A Riot.

I ream this series a lot, but Frank Miller, I do fucking love you for writing this book.

Its awful, really. Batman is what you would be if you were 12 years old and became Batman, guffawing and leaping around the city at night. Robin really is an annoying little piss-ripper. But, God, its just so damn funny to read. I don’t think Miller is trying anything too serious here. I think he’s just having a little fun with the character, and watching us shit ourselves. I mean, c’mon, this is Frank Miller. He did “The Dark Knight Returns”, remember? He gets Batman.

And then he goes and writes shit like this weeks All-Star Batshit Insane and Robin, The Annoying Sidebitch #9.

Spoilers after the jump.

So, here you go, my quick summary of ASB&RTBW#9, which has initials almost as long as the title should be.

Batman and Robin are going to meet with Green Lantern, so they paint themselves and the safehouse yellow. Well, not to bad an idea. Then they serve Lemonade.

Batman served fucking lemonade.

So they argue back and forth a bit.

Batman: You should try this lemonade. On a hot day like this, its a godsend.

Green Lantern: Damn you and your lemonade!

Chris: Best. Dialogue. EVER.

Then GL starts bitching Batman out for having a kid sidekick. Green Lantern is probably just jealous that no little boys want to put on a power ring and flying around Ferris Aircraft with him, but can you blame them? He’s a recovering alcoholic, and he’ll probably turn into All-Star Parallax next year. So, after knocking Robin kinda hard, Robin lifts his ring.

Robin took his power ring off his finger without him noticing. Its fucking impressive.

So Robin and GL fight, and Robin breaks his trachea.

Yes, you read that right. Robin broke his trachea.

So Batman saves his life by traching him with a tube that, according to Polite Dissent isn’t really big enough, and then they run off.

They go to the cemetery. Robin punches his parents headstone, Batman and Robin cuddle on their grave, and I promise to buy every single issue of All-Star Batman from now on.

I love you, Frank Miller.

Damn you and your lemonade! That page is below.

Damn You, And Your Lemonade!

View Comments (2) View Comments (2)
  1. Man when I first read this page I had to look at it twice. This is by far the most awesome version of Batman in der weld.

  2. XD Man I love this effing series. I got into it when it first came out and have been peeing my pants ever since. Oh btw, Green Lantern *did* have a sidekick back in the olden days when Super Friends were on he had his own mini show and a young Venetian boy name Kairo who literally rode his ass through space. I suggest you look into a website called SeanBaby.com and visit his super friends pages. XD Effing priceless. As for Frank Miller, I wish I could eat french toast with him on sunday mornings..mmm..

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