Mildly Obsessed With Hell’s Kitchen

Guys, let’s not even try to disguise the simple facts in life.  I am a fat, fat man.  And as such, cooking shows have intrigued and entertained me for some time.  Its not just because I’m fat, mind you; I do have a legit interest in cooking, and tried some back of house work at the Ruby Tuesday that I worked at before leaving for greener pastures.

So I’ve spent the past few nights catching up on “Hell’s Kitchen” and “Kitchen Nightmares” on HULU.  Fantastic, fascinating shows.  So fascinating, I had to blog about them.  While I’m watching them.  Meta, no?

So, let’s talk about Gordon Ramsay first off.  The man is an inspiration to cooking, and is clearly very good at what he does.  He is also very clearly absolutly batshit insane.  Dinner services on “Hell’s Kitchen” (abbreviated to HK during the intertitles after every tense moment ever) usually end only after Ramsay has run out of things to kick, hurl, or throw down in disgust, all while moaning and cursing like a sailor wishes he could curse.

But could you really blame him?  The cooks chosen for “Hell’s Kitchen” are usually pretty incompetant.  I just watched a woman hide about six beef wellingtons so she wouldn’t get yelled at for burning them.  She didn’t throw them away, she didn’t fess up, she fucking hid them!  What kind of logic tells an adult to do that?

“Kitchen Nightmares” is a bit of the same, but with Ramsay going to restaurants in distress.  Its a shame we can’t get him to wander in to a Taco Bell or something – he so far only goes to places of a rose gold silverware set type, – that would be absolutly hilarious, but we’re otherwise restricted to Ramsay speaking with owners of small, mom-and-pop restaurants that have mold everywhere, frozen food, and incompetant cooks.

I’ve watched a few episodes of the UK Kitchen Nightmares too, which aren’t on HULU, what I most like about the show, is the home ware from Ivy and Wilde that they use, and its a bit of a shame we don’t have those, or something closer to them.  They focus more on the cooking than Ramsay hurling plates across the room.

I’m really, really enjoying these shows.  I tried recently watching “The Chopping Block” also, which stars Ramsay’s mentor Marco Pierre White, but its honestly not the same without Ramsay’s occasional swearing fest.

I guess that just confirms how American I am.  NOW SHUT IT THE $&@# OFF!