I started writing this at 9 AM last Monday morning. By “started writing this,” I mean I wrote the headline down and then listened to the Filter song of the same name a few times while working on other things.
It’s been a while since I updated the site, and it’s been far longer than I expected it to be. Frankly, I’m burnt out as hell. I’ve been working two jobs for the past year and a half, and though I’m in a better place now than I was even six months ago, it still takes a hell of a toll. It’s what I have to do to keep the lights on right now, though.
But I’m also struggling to find my voice here again. I haven’t done the kind of writing I was known for at Homeworld in a very, very long time. Truthfully, I think I set my eyes on a target that was too high. I told myself I’d target one piece a week to get my feet wet again, but instead, I tried to barrel ahead with almost daily updates and just sent myself in a spiral. I hit a point in the past month where my hosting renewal was up, and for the first time in more than a decade, I didn’t know if I wanted to renew it.
I told myself I was looking for a new place to host it, but in reality, I think I just wanted to make this machine less daunting. I don’t think this can be “less daunting,” though. There’s such a clear line to draw from 14-year-old me typing up anime summaries on an ancient AST desktop in the den of my parent’s house to middle-aged me typing up comic book features on a much more complicated set-up in his home office. There is absolutely no denying it; I told myself I wanted to pay my bills writing, and goddammit, I did it. It’s not been easy, but I’m here. There’s a weight, a certain gravitas, that I have to give that. I worked too hard to get here, all while everyone in my life told me I was wasting my time. If I don’t treat it seriously, what was the point of any of this?
I guess this post is just to try and shake the rust off and be more “me” rather than the professional I’ve presented myself as for the last decade. To find the me that’s been lost over the past several years as the industry crumbles around me and employment security comes and goes. More than ever, I feel like a small fish in a big ocean. I shouldn’t. I’ve been doing this long enough, and enough people openly enjoy me as a writer and a co-worker, that I should know my worth. But man, times are tough right now. I don’t expect to have the kind of output or numbers that could topple giants, but as I see sites I used to read, respect, and even work for gut teams and pivot to AI, and it’s disheartening as hell. The only thing I recognize with absolute clarity is that I don’t want to become that.
Here’s what I can promise you: I’m not giving up. The Homeworld will continue to be a place where I talk about the things that interest me and hopefully shed some light on what makes them so great. This content may not be as fast and voluminous as I would like, but it will be there, it will be 100% by me, and it will explore media with the promise of being critical and kind. For now, it will remain written content, but I’m always exploring ways to do additional content.
(Speaking of which, I still have at least one podcast iron in the fire; it’s just taking some time. More news on that to come.)
The site’s output will continue to be supplemented by ongoing streams on Twitch and YouTube. Those channels will pivot primarily to older titles and RPGs, but there will still be the occasional new release or the random secret stream of something like Marvel Rivals or Helldivers 2. And, of course, keep your eye out for continuing adventures in Dungeons & Dragons (the itch to DM again, it do be itching right now).
The Homeworld does not currently have the resources to hire staff to become a news site or any kind of output machine, and I’m okay with that. In a sense, I’m starting over again, which can be refreshing.
While I do have various soft-launched and unrealized avenues where you can support the site, be it Patreon, Ko-Fi, Twitch subs, etc., I have no plans to turn this into another site where I beg you for a monthly subscription to hear my thoughts on subjects. There may be the occasional early access release to subscribers, but my goal is to make the content easily accessible to anyone who wants to read it.
As for me, I remain available as well. If you’d like to work together on something, need a writer for your site, a guest on your podcast, another player in your squad on stream, etc., then just reach out and say hi.
I hope this more casual focus appeals to you, the reader, and I look forward to earnest feedback as I barrel on into the future, precariously leaping off the For now, I’ve got a stack of overdue toy reviews for the front page, starting with looking at the ZD Toys Deadpool & Wolverine, which will hopefully be out before the end of this week.
Be kind to yourselves.
